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Practical Uses for Impractical Shoes

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It was love at first sight. I had never felt this way before, my heart skipped as I traced the hard outline with my finger. It was rough and beautiful all at the same time, and when I took it in my hand, I knew it had to be mine forever. It was – a 5″ platform, glitter stiletto. (where was your mind just then? Dirty!)

I first saw the fabulousness that is now affectionately known as my Glitter Tranny Shoes, I knew I wanted them. I don’t normally covet things in such a manner, but those, oh hell yes I did! I was at Kohl’s shopping with my friend Nicki for some boots for her, when I saw the heels isle. I had to check it out. I tried them on while wearing my fuzzy pink socks and have never felt more fierce! Or tall! Me being the klutzy goofball we all know and love, stood in them long enough for a photo-op – and then put them back. The were.impractica$@%^ sorry, I died a little there when I said that word.  I don’t know at what point in my life I was forced to grow up and acknowledge that glittery shoes that I can’t walk in are something I should not own… but I don’t like that particular point in history. So, I put them back on the shelf and carried on about the rest of my night (texting, Facebooking and all around fixating on those shoes). Over the next week or so, not only did I show the photo to everyone who would look & talk about them non stop – I also visited them every time I was near a Kohls!

This past weekend, my mom and  I were shopping and I was visiting them at Kohls (again).  I was even able to muster a enough steps to admire them in a mirror! That’s when my mommy said “Why don’t you just buy them as a ‘new job gift to yourself’ and shut up about them!” BRILLIANT! I took them home that very day.

As I will most likely never be able to wear them anyplace  I have to walk (or stand) I have made a list of uses for the Glitter Tranny Shoes to further validate my purchase!

  • Disco/Mirror ball enhancers
  • Help short people’s feet  reach the floor at restaurants
  • Defense against muggers, zombies, pirates and other such monstrous villainy*
  • Doggy butt scratchers
  • Lawn aeration
  • Walking the dog or taking out the trash in style
  • Wear on those days when you just have “That not-so-fierce feeling”
  • Brightening up the “Web Cave”

*Safety note – do not wear GTS to run away from such marauders as you will only sprain your ankle allowing them to get you!

What have I missed? If you have ideas on other uses for the GTS… post them here – I would LOVE to hear them :) Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

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superawesomefuntime!

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Wow – it was quite the friendfest this weekend. The combination of a full moon & a trifecta of out-of-town besties  made for quite the experience! As most of the photos are embarrassing and most of the stories are NSFW, today’s blog will be in list format…

The Highlights (& lessons learned)

  • merry & steph were both home! (from FL & OK respectively)
  • i got to meet some quite cool new people
  • it’s totally acceptable to wear slippers to a bar in fremont
  • the banana (trust me – it’s best we leave it at that)
  • sleep is highly overrated
  • i am way too chicken to go on the haunted drive
  • if texting while driving is bad, photography while driving is much worse
  • Fu “is not Oprah. I can text &  drive”
  • 1 sip of the 15% alcohol content whipped cream & i am done.
  • caramel whipped cream in a cider is way tastier then it looks
  • deciding not to have the same drink twice in 1 night only goes so far. after a while you pick 1 & stick to it.
  • a 6 block walk to the next place is not a good idea in heels
  • if you see clodagh & i together in a place w/a jukebox… be prepared to hear the following
  1. total eclipse of the heart (at least 2 or 3 times)
  2. major amounts of michael jackson
  3. at least 1 song by abba and/or cher
  • if it’s just julie picking songs- you will hear some old school country
  • if you are going to poop your pants, expect me to follow you around spraying perfume until you go home & change
  • don’t expect clo & i to play pool
  • julie hates ed hardy
  • how to do a shot like a Marine
  • i will never look at tipping a bartender the same way
  • if you promise to bring some girls back some strawberry pancakes, you should do so!
  • you are an uppercruster. it’s when you comin’ in all smelling like fancy cheese!
  • fu & i are going to start a band called “succulent cheeseburger poo”
  • i apparently drive 40 mph
  • i can not text & drive
  • franks pizza is yum!
  • no matter how tired you are, you go see your besties!

All in all – this weekend rocked! It has me happy as a Giga Pudding kid!

 

 

 

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50 Things you did not know you wanted to know about me

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  1. If  I could only do one thing – it would be travel
  2. I want to learn how to speak – French, Gaelic, Italian, Russian & Greek
  3. I love tv shows about ancient history (thru the French Revolution) and about comparative religion
  4.  One item on my bucket list is to play Ruth in Pirates of Penzance
  5. I have had that show memorized since I was 8
  6.  I read the book “Jemima J” at least twice a year
  7.  Every time  I read “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows” I have to reserve a day for it and read it all at once
  8. I am a wannabe photographer
  9.  I am a terrible driver
  10.  but i sing  like a rock star when i am driving by myself
  11. I have never worn a store-bought Halloween costume, & never will. I LOVE making my  own
  12.  I have a terrible black thumb. I have killed both a chia pet  and a  cactus
  13.  I named the 1 plant I did keep alive (for a while)  Spike. RIP Spike the pothos
  14.  I named a fish Fluffy for the irony (i love   irony)
  15.  My dog is named after my favorite character in my favorite movie (A Christmas Story)
  16. I am definitely 3%  –  5% cuter when i am cold
  17. I love kitsch! I embrace intentional bad taste! (next time you see me – look at my socks)
  18. I have random thoughts that pop into my head and I get sidetracked by them, most of the time it’s a good thing
  19.  I get random songs that pop into my head and don’t go away. most of the time this is a bad thing
  20.  I have had my heart-broken and lived to tell the story.
  21.  My happy place is near a lake or ocean. rivers are an acceptable substitute.
  22.  I startle/frighten easily and react in a way that has caused some of my friends to try & ‘get’ me on purpose
  23.  I got my 1st gray hair at 22
  24.  I look younger than my age – so I’m fine rocking the hair dye
  25.  I try to be a positive presence even though I do admit to frequent wining & venting
  26. I am 4 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon
  27. I rely on spell check like my life depended on it
  28. Despite the amount of pink in my wardrobe – Yellow is my favorite color
  29. My mom’s nick name for me as a little kid was “Sunshine”
  30.  My mom is my best friend
  31.  I don’t speak to my father
  32. I am disturbingly accident prone and klutzy
  33. Despite that, I can be very graceful
  34. I am more shy than you would think
  35. I can not deal with inanimate object that look like they are ‘looking at me’
  36. Birds and squirrels freak me out
  37. I tend to speak without thinking – so I try to stay very quiet in large groups
  38. I like to quote books and movies – and do it frequently
  39. I don’t like to talk on the phone. I only have a small group I will chat with on the phone
  40. I told people in middle school I was named after the Stephen King book. Really my (given) name is for my grandma
  41. I miss my grandmother more than anything
  42. My 1 regret is I did not have the experience of a 4 year college
  43. I have changed so much in the last 11 years – most of you wouldn’t know the old me.
  44. I am stronger than  knew I could be
  45.  I danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly (Thanks Merry!)
  46.  My favorite teddy bear, Fritz is still around on a chair in the corner
  47.  I am a killer player at trivia and word games
  48.  I played a game of trivia pursuit once 3 vs me – and won
  49. I am completely in love with architecture & could stare at ruins or buildings for hours
  50.  50. I love to make lists

 Me – “Say Goodnight, Ralphie”

Ralphie – “Goodnigh

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Things a new PR Professional learns after week #1

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What have I learned in my first week being a Social Media Developer?

The first and most obviously notable thing that I learned is – nobody knows what in the hell I do for a living!  When I tell people that I got a job as a social media developer, they look at me with a big smile – showing that they are happy and supportive  – then they say, as nicely as possible “Oh, social media… what is that?”  I’ve found the quickest and most direct answer is to tell people I Twitter for a living.  That’s the moment when the OOOHH of clarity comes out, and they are truly happy for me.

The next thing that I have come to learn is, when doing the social media for others, that first week, is all about doing your homework. I was assigned my first product .

Lastly, I learned that my job ABSOLUTELY. KICKS. ASS!

I mean seriously, who else can spend her workday connecting to the world in such a fun manner.  Did anyone here just notice the fact that I just used the words “Work” and “fun” together???  I get  to learn and teach and connect all at the same time. I still feel weird that I go into work in the morning and the first 2 thing I do are check my email and log into my Hootsuite dashboard! Anyplace else I’d be looking over my shoulder waiting to get yelled at for being on Facebook – but now… I’m writing Facebook strategy, and contemplating my very first vlog post.

So what did I learn in my first week? I learned when you find a career path you love and enjoy what you do – a little hard work just makes it better!

Thanks Tommy for suggesting my headline, I need to get lots of blogging in, so please everybody, send me a headline title and let’s work on my blog skills!

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“in the cave with the boys”

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After many many long month of un, and under employment, today was my first day at my new job!

When I walked in the door this morning and told the receptionist who I was, I was greeted with “Oh! You’re IT. Your gonna be down in the cave with the boys!” Now, I heard this phrase twice more before I actually walked in.  I felt a wee bit nervous  by hearing this comment.

I was walked thru and introduced to the “upstairs” IT guys, then was walked down to “the cave”.  I got to meet the rest of the web team aka: the boys. I feel very fortunate that, (so far – lol) we are a good mesh of people!  I was able to hit the ground running, but starting to study my first client product,  #Supple Beverages, there will be more on that to come, I am sure…

I am happy to say I will be able to stay in the #BBHILL & #NNSMB (well, except for tomorrow). When I asked about my schedule,  I was told “umm. Well you can get in the door by 6am… but, as long as you get your work done…” so it sounds like I have some fantastical flexibility – woo hoo!

Other random things from today

  • I may need to learn to love potato chips – it appears to be the lunch of choice
  • when they do eat lunch, it’s a China buffet
  • my boss it actually pretty cool and low key
  • we have badge only entrances – lets start a pool for what I’ll have to pay in replacments for forgetting
  • Yes, the company I work for does the ShakeWeight website and fulfillment!!!
  •  I think I need either a phone book or a booster seat for my desk chair
  • i’m planning to ‘girlie up’ my little corner of the bat cave – they’ve been warned
  • there is a great need in this world for a “double bold” button
  • there is also an even bigger need for a “you are stupid” button

I can’t wait to see where this takes me!

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What to do when you miss out on the party…

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From time to time in my life, I have been known to take a good idea and go a “skosh” too far. This would indeed be one of those times!

Due to my current state of underemployment, I normally find myself with availability wide open, it’s rare I can’t move one of my 4 jobs about to accommodate something fun… Today is the first time in fact, that I can think of for quite some time.

Knowing that today is the big Celebration of Bacon – I was attacked by a fit of genius that was only a touch crazy. I made my mind up yesterday that I would have some kind of bacon today – just because.  I got it into my head that I wanted to try the famous bacon cupcake from Zuppas. Unfortunately, that was not possible .. so I thought. Heck, I can just make myself some maple bacon cupcakes.

As I wandered about Festival, I decided to take it one step further and make chocolate covered bacon maple cupcakes. So off I went to my mother’s to take over her kitchen. Below is how it went….

Step one – Cook up a Vat – O- Bacon

At this stage  I am still in the mode of  “This is quite possibly one of the strangest things  I have done”

I’d like to thank the “Girls” Betty, Jemima & Pam

The bacon fried, it was time to mix up a cake. I by no means make anything from scratch, so I do fall back quite a bit on my kitchen assistants.

Point of no Return

The question of how to turn my butter batter into fabtastic maple bacon cupcakes was an easy one to answer. Add some syrup and a spoonfull of bacon drippings to the bowl.

I decided to go a bit all over the place in cupcake shape and size. It started as a test pan with the minis. a dollop of syrup in the bottom of each.

Starting out small

On the top of every other cupcake I added just a bit of bacon. A bacon baby step if you will. Into the oven they went, and  I started scooping out the rest. Once all the trays were in the oven it was time to do some dipping.

ChocoBacon!

I put the dipped bacon in the fridge to chill overnight and then got lost in the music pumping in from my playlist (tonights random mix – Kylie, Dropkick Murphy’s, The Beatles & Glee)

About an hour in, I discovered the oven died, so I had to finish some of the batches in the microwave to rather interesting looking results!

Microwaved Cupcakes

Aww. it’s a heart

I cleaned up, left the cakes to cool, thanked my unofficial helper with a the honor of licking the spoon

Thanks Mom

This morning was the ultimate task, While the bits we tried last night were MIGHTY tasty, and in spite of my art background… The things I have made in the kitchen in the past… well they look more like something you would eat standing over the sink with a dog staring at you waiting for the bits to fall off. But I knew I had to make them as pretty as possible seeing the disaster with the oven! So I started my trying out my skills as a piper. A big glob of frosting in a ziplock bag, and suddenly, I’m an Irom Chef! Adding my super spiffy chocolate bacon, and they looked good! So I say Cheers  to all of you at the bacon party today, I’ll be thinking of you when I get home from work tonight and sink my teeth into one of these beauties!

Viola

Have a Great  #baconparty10 everyone!

#baconparty10

@RossLaRocco  @AFiebig @tommytrc @ChrisFroze @tvorse @JamieVoster

Hey lady – next time it’s “pupcakes”!

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